omgh4x denuded

(dramatic re-enactment not actually between 2:40 and 3:10 PM around 5th and Howard...)

After paying my gramma in SoMa an afternoon visit, I return to my car to find it... decorated. And not by me, unless coffee delirium gives me bright ideas about drying laundry on the outside of my (kinda) swiftmoving car.

Uh-oh! Behind door number 1...

Oh my!

The miracle of tinting? The plastic film holds smashed and detached window together even after 20 miles of highway driving.

I promise better pics on Monday if my car and broken window remain in place all weekend.

So someone made off with a rubber yoga mat and a custom potpourri pack consisting of one backpack and some clothes and towels rather liberally permeated with Eau de Sidney, a delightful blend of common sweat, ass sweat, and weird ammonia sweat.

Some questions you may have from this incident:

Q: Why does Sid's sweat smell like sweet, sweet ammonia?
A: So that I won't raise the ire of the yoga ninjas covering up rampant Windex doping for levitative purposes, I'll say that delicious ammonia comes when your body runs out of glycogen and starts to metabolize proteins.

Q: Why would someone steal a backpack attached to a yoga mat?
A: It looks like a laptop with nukular rubber gold bar attachment!

Q: Why leave the rug?
A: The liberator of window integrity has very specific tastes in Sidney sweat. The sweat soaking my shorts and undershorts have a distinct smell which the rug, soaked in dripped upper body sweat, sadly lacks.

SCRATCH GRAD SCHOOL I'M GOING TO CHINA

(actually, I've been to this panda factory. I should post pics...)

(Actually old news I forgot to post... it's from early October, and no, I'm not in an Indian prison)

PS. I'll be home for Christmas!

Dear friends, some of you may be under the impression that I'm living in the jungle in the care of wise and benevolent monkeys--unfortunately endangered--, or that I'm sharing a single squat toilet with a very muddy village. To the contrary! Mysore has it all! Err, not exactly... But it's got lots!

Here are some everyday pics of Mysore life. I'm a good enough boy to carry my camera everywhere, but not good enough to use it. These are someone else's pictures I found on the computer. I kinda have her permission to post them... Sorry, D.!

The great coconut man, Beg, is kind enough to water us every morning after yoga practice. He pulls up his autorickshaw and lops off the top of these tender, nubile young coconuts with one swift blow of his terrible, no doubt, machete. You can then drink back, approx 300 ml at a time, what you sweated out during practice but in a way that's totally not disgusting at all. I think I'm neck and neck with some Norwegian fellow for coconut consumption Should you desire, and your victim in hand have reached a certain maturity, he can also split the emptied vessel in twain for you to pick the flesh off its bones. Charge: 7 rupees, about 15 cents, each.

Fruit vendors are everywhere. Delicious? Yes! Clean? No comment...

You can also buy colors...

...and flowers. Here's no doubt what really inspired Proust to write about being "a l'ombre des jeunes filles en fleur." *cough*

Every house needs a god or 330 million...

These Ganeshas are actually made of mud for the unbelievably long and very noisily festive, but pleasantly multisyllabic, "Ganapathi Chanapurthi" celebration. On the last day of the festival, after each idol has been properly honored for a while, it's dunked in the nearest river to rejoin the great Ganesha in the public water supply.

What would India be without huggable animals? Here are some typical local street scenes captured by a Bay Area friend I met here.

Now, on to my own pictures.

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Hey, Mr. Olliphant!

I mean, Mrs. Olliphant. Is something wrong?

Why's our driver in such a hurry now? He can go potty anywhere he wants. And Mrs. Olliphant, you look different now! Much closer and, I daresay, angrier!

What a lovely son, Mrs. Olliphant! And he charges just like you!

It's so easy to make friends in India!

Let's celebrate the birthday of Ganesh, Lord of Traffic Safety!